I was told
it would be better.
but when I woke up
it was worse.
and when I walked
it rose and increased.
but when I sat
it receded.
when I got up,
it went down.
as I took,
I forgot.
and as I sit here in front of the computer,
I wished it would be ilke last time;

I told Sabrina, after A maths, "you know people are crazy of Hyun Joong, Super Junior, DBSK, Shinee..well I have my own version of Hyun Joong, NOT korean one, indonesian one." and Sabrina, you know who ah I show the photo already! btw, he's got a band you didn't know?

screw A Maths. should have left my name as screwer c6p25wd. dang dang dang.

I had hope in the morning. but when it ended I lost it. let's just say when you make a mountain out of a molehill, whatever small that destroys it, it will be catastrophic. so you lose all hope that was piled up from beginning.

man maybe I should try to sleep with my eyes open. that way 24/7 I can-

there's French later and I'm HUNGRY! my stomach's rumbling since the paper. I wonder when the bio paper is going to end...omg hurry up.

once again,
KEVIN APRILIO :D

KEVIN APRILIO :D

don't even talk to me about exams today because my ch paper, :/. maths, worse.

but something happened today that Idk, makes a spring in my step. well, it involves chasing people aye(: it's pretty obvious. just admit it(:

you know what? kita sama tapi beda. (:

do you know how many tags I have to reply, for goodness' sake? okay I shall reply them all.

charlotte l: hey good luck to you too! and thanks for helping me (:

marilyn: there's no spelling error. (: and hello.

carolyn: oh my sorry I didnt left my link! well at least I found your blog also aye(:

kanming: uh...okay. who're you>

Alyaa: yeap, linked you already. and my blog is projectneonlights.bs.com!

Taylor: haha I did tag on your tagboard also...no wait that was TIARA'S blog. well yeah sometimes I express my feelings in very funny ways, as you've experienced in primary school..remember?

xin: yeah I agree (: need help?

Tia: haha WELL THE WORLD IS SMALL. and thanks for saying that on your tagboard! and yeah HAHA WE FOUND EACH OTHER. omg do you know how much I wanted to see you after the musical? well someday we'll meet aye(:

faRAH: hello to you too(:

HWEEHOON: oops sorry :/ and hey lab partner!(:

heather: HAHA yeah yeah. I've got more! and you're not the only mean one...(:

BANANA: ni hao!

Yujie: aye ai ai really really really sorry! and thanks for waiting that day. I pass you your letter tmrw!

Fairuz: HAHA hey your wordpress got this tranquil feel also y'know. but that stupid blogskin didn't work, had to change it.

Rozaa: HAHA HEY THANKS girl. (: and HELLLO!

TIFFANY: ah thank you! that was so long ago...

you see. and you know, I thank someone, because of last night-I learn alot from her. you'd be surprised who.

I enjoyed myself today. I mean yesterday.
(:



oh so you can see it? haha(:

okay this is one of the posts where I just dump random stuff.

today I went to the Da Vinci exhibition at the Science Centre. I think all the machines there are so cool! then there was also the Mona Lisa exhibition where they say there's 27 secrets behind the painting, then they show all the small details. after that we went to watch this 30min video about Da Vinci which made my neck pain because I was sitting at the front row.

lunch at Swensens (: (:

Im suppose to mug now but dang, I'm distracted. later I shall lock the door and put a Do Not Disturb sign. OH THAT REMINDS ME, THERE'S MAGNUM IN THE FRIDGE (:

Michael Jackson passed away. sad. ):

I don't know again, there's something about today that makes me feel grateful for all I have.

well, 2 more days, 2 more days!

oh, yujie and sarah tan and taylor's letters D: I must reply a.s.a.p.

THERE'S A BIRD IN MY KITCHEN. but my mother caught it!

I just remembered, when Anita and I were looking for Mini Toons at HDB Hub, we went past the Famous Amos shop then we looked at all the cookies inside and she was fascinated by it. well as for me, since I've been there a couple of times, I'm quite used to it. then I dragged her away. I like the cookies there though!

it's a REALLY small world.

I SWEAR if ARIEL AND LUNA MAYA get closer then OLGA AND RAFFI WILL JUMP UNTIL 20M. (:

alamak and I'm damn slow, I only know PETERPAN GOT BAND TERDAHSYAT. :D :D :D

you know what, my best friend in Indonesia when I was 8 years old, backstreet-ed. and great, she doesn't want to associate with me anymore.

it's sad.

OH NO I HAVEN'T FINISHED STUDYING. eh but today was productive! compared to other days. aiyoh, sorry yujie I made you wait for so long! and speaking of today, I need to call someone regarding something VERY IMPORTANT!

aye, I didn't know my mum was a pro at cats-because just now we heard a meow meow meow sound then she called me and said "that is a small cat crying." then I asked how she know? then she replied of course lah.

okay then me and my brother went to check the place where the cat was found because last time we saw was under the lorry. the cat was SMALL, smaller than my school bag! (even smaller.) and cute! but we had to go to religious class and we left and the cat followed us and called us. so after it finished then we went back and tried finding it again but it wasn't there anymore. sad ): tsk, I wanted to bring it to SPCA but well, nvm.

there's something fun about washing plates at night time. like the fact that you get very nice clean cold hands (:

oh today I played Poker on my handphone and only now then did I know about Poker hands. I better put a list here so that I remember.


1. Royal Flush
This is the highest poker hand. It consists of ace, king, queen, jack, ten, all in the same suit. As all suits are equal, all royal flushes are equal.

2. Straight Flush
Five cards of the same suit in sequence - such as J-10-9-8-7. Between two straight flushes, the one containing the higher top card is higher. An ace can be counted as low, so 5-4-3-2-A is a straight flush, but its top card is the five, not the ace, so it is the lowest type of straight flush. The cards cannot "turn the corner": 4-3-2-A-K is not valid.

3. Four of a kind
Four cards of the same rank - such as four queens. The fifth card can be anything. This combination is sometimes known as "quads", and in some parts of Europe it is called a "poker", though this term for it is unknown in English. Between two fours of a kind, the one with the higher set of four cards is higher - so 3-3-3-3-A is beaten by 4-4-4-4-2. It can't happen in standard poker, but if in some other game you need to compare two fours of a kind where the sets of four cards are of the same rank, then the one with the higher fifth card is better.

4. Full House
This consists of three cards of one rank and two cards of another rank - for example three sevens and two tens (colloquially known as "sevens full" or more specifically "sevens on tens"). When comparing full houses, the rank of the three cards determines which is higher. For example 9-9-9-4-4 beats 8-8-8-A-A. If the threes of a kind were equal, the rank of the pairs would decide.

5. Flush
Five cards of the same suit. When comparing two flushes, the highest card determines which is higher. If the highest cards are equal then the second highest card is compared; if those are equal too, then the third highest card, and so on. For example K-J-9-3-2 beats K-J-7-6-5 because the nine beats the seven.

6. Straight
Five cards of mixed suits in sequence - for example Q-J-10-9-8. When comparing two sequences, the one with the higher ranking top card is better. Ace can count high or low in a straight, but not both at once, so A-K-Q-J-10 and 5-4-3-2-A are valid straights, but 2-A-K-Q-J is not. 5-4-3-2-A is the lowest kind of straight, the top card being the five.

7. Three of a Kind
Three cards of the same rank plus two other cards. This combination is also known as Triplets or Trips. When comparing two threes of a kind the hand in which the three equal cards are of higher rank is better. So for example 5-5-5-3-2 beats 4-4-4-K-Q. If you have to compare two threes of a kind where the sets of three are of equal rank, then the higher of the two remaining cards in each hand are compared, and if those are equal, the lower odd card is compared.

8. Two Pairs
A pair is two cards of equal rank. In a hand with two pairs, the two pairs are of different ranks (otherwise you would have four of a kind), and there is an odd card to make the hand up to five cards. When comparing hands with two pairs, the hand with the highest pair wins, irrespective of the rank of the other cards - so J-J-2-2-4 beats 10-10-9-9-8 because the jacks beat the tens. If the higher pairs are equal, the lower pairs are compared, so that for example 8-8-6-6-3 beats 8-8-5-5-K. Finally, if both pairs are the same, the odd cards are compared, so Q-Q-5-5-8 beats Q-Q-5-5-4.

9. Pair
A hand with two cards of equal rank and three other cards which do not match these or each other. When comparing two such hands, the hand with the higher pair is better - so for example 6-6-4-3-2 beats 5-5-A-K-Q. If the pairs are equal, compare the highest ranking odd cards from each hand; if these are equal compare the second highest odd card, and if these are equal too compare the lowest odd cards. So J-J-A-9-3 beats J-J-A-8-7 because the 9 beats the 8.

10. High Card
Five cards which do not form any of the combinations listed above. When comparing two such hands, the one with the better highest card wins. If the highest cards are equal the second cards are compared; if they are equal too the third cards are compared, and so on. So A-J-9-5-3 beats A-10-9-6-4 because the jack beats the ten.

and guess what I GOT A ROYAL FLUSH! yay (:
okay I'd better be studying now.

there's going to be air-cons in my house and
BOY, IS IT NOISY.
with all that drilling and dust flying everywhere.

a good menu for breakfast: SALAD WITH THOUSAND ISLAND SAUCE. (:
yum;
and oh, GOLDEN PANCAKES WITH MAPLE SYRUP. (:

oh what am I talking. breakfast is over. still!
only one air con has been fixed-the rest hasn't yet finished. well I hope they will finish by today because I can't study with all the noise :/

oh no. I'm really panicking now. :/ :/ oh no not all of us are going to be there. why :/ okay wait wait I shall go pray now. this just stopped all the happy things that I was thinking of. like a stone wall. even exams.

aye, I shall do this quiz that I found on vijaya's blog.

01. Who was your last text from? yujie.

02. Where was your default picture taken? courtyard.

03. Your relationship status? singlee. I mean, I do like someone here and there, but not stead.

04. Have you ever lost a close friend? ONE. and I've learnt to let go (:

05. What is your current mood? bored, frustrated because there's NO widget that I like.

06. How many siblings do you have? 1.

07. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names? urh, Rifqi.

08. Where do you wish you were right now? OUH somewhere nice with friends, like an outing.

09. Have a crazy side? if you call saying random stuff and noises NOT crazy...

10. Ever had a near death experience? um so far nope. wait actually one.

11. Something you do a lot? see my blog, around 4 times per day.

12. Angry at anyone/thing? the Internet.

13. What's stopping you from going for the person you like? courage, because I'll feel afraid everytime I want to make a move.

14. When was the last time you cried? 2 days ago. NIGHT TIME. see I can remember.

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for? well...HM...let's see...

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep? MUST have at least a shopping mall, and something related to that day.

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? yujie. (:

18. What is your favorite song? I think you meant songS. SKSJ by Five Minutes, Lupa-Lupa Ingat by Kuburan Band, Di Balik Awan by Peterpan, Sempurna/Kepayang/Main Hati/Hitamku by Andra and The Backbone...all those minor key stuff like from Evanescence.

19. What are you doing right now? eh, doing this quiz and msn-ing with rosalind.

20. Who do you trust right now? my family and quite a lot of friends. I lie to myself, SERIOUSLY.

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing now? Hang Ten, not nine.

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week? nope.

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you? beside me got Priyanka and Zulfiqah, behind me got Krittika and Anita, upstairs/downstairs got Ayu...

24. Describe your life in one word?wave-ish. (because there are UPS and DOWNS see. (: )

25. Who are you thinking of right now? my hungry stomach, and that I need to pray, and the TV that's on.

26. What should you be doing right now? EITHER on the com or in front of the TV.

27. What are you listening to? this campaign speech by this candidate for Indonesia's vice president.

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug? Anita. and that was LONG ago.

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you? dad, a.k.a. father.

30. Do you act differently around the person you like? of course. I admit it. but well, as I learn, you have to be yourself. and I regret it sometimes...

31. What is your natural hair color? black.

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh? ROSALIND and she's ONLINE now. (:

33. Who was the last person to make you sad? damn, my brother. sorry :/

34. What do you hear? speech.

35. Is your hair curly or straight? mixed? like some straight, some curly. but put it as frizzy.

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before? no, although I call FOOD scrumptious. and I heard someone calling someone scrumptious.

37. Do you have a best friend? I used to have one, but she's the one that I lost. now I have GREAT FRIENDS.

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days? nope. really!

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer? yeah, look up there.

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?nope, although well, SOME PEOPLE have...

41. Are you happy with life right now? Idk, really.

42. Are you currently jealous? nope. I'm hungry.

43. What jewelry are you currently wearing? nothing. I dont even own any, goodness.

44. What were you doing on friday night? com, dinner, sleep.

45. Have you ever had your heart broken? yeah. by my own actions. worse, that lead me to depression for awhile.

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart? my gut feeling says yes and that's why I feel guilty all the time.

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? no, if I do...I'm dead meat.

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for? earache, muscle ache, sore throat.

49. How late did you stay up last night and why? 10 something and my whole family camped out in the living room.

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? no because I'm SINGLEE. (:

YAY I'M DONE. (:

1. I am really, really, VERY sleepy.
2. I just came back from a 3D2N trip to Batam.
3. I GOT DENIAS AND LASKAR PELANGI VCDS! (: (:
4. I have an insect bite on my left arm, and a mosquito bite right on my right wrist.
5. I bought 3 new t-shirts and a nice new denim vest.
6. KETIKA CINTA BERTASBIH MOVIE IS SHOWING IN SINGAPORE (: (: then maybe I can invite the so-called-clique.
7. oh, I got this really cool book called Menu Cinta and there's loads of colourful pictures in it.
8. I have the KCB POSTER from Keren Beken magazine! and ANDI looks so much better and uh, well, good looking (:
9. dang, I miss my daily KitKat snack. ): reminds me of Rugaiyah, somehow.
10. my earache cause slight blockage, and more pain.
11. I am now suspicious of cheese.
12. Kuburan Band went to Batam yesterday which I really really wanted to go but my mother, well you understand. OH AND I FINALLY GOT THEIR BRIDGE of their song Lupa Lupa Ingat. it goes like:
C A minor D minor ke G ke C lagi
A minor D minor ke G ke C lagi
A minor D minor ke G ke C lagi.
HAHA (:

oh yes. I roasted my dignity on a BBQ, hoping to have it nicely well, nice. but it was over burnt. so I had to throw it away. thrown dignity.

or maybe, I tripped over a stone and my face slipped out and got lost somewhere in the drain. lose face.

nah just kidding.

I went to the PC show. the fact that I can't even move through the crowd makes me want to say nothing. even better, I came there only for headphones which I hoped to get a discount. ONLY. the best of all was that I came in for PC show but ended up buying 2 pillows, 1 bolster, 1 new shirt and 1 cardigan. a bit off ah. aye but the t-shirt was nice and a good deal!

once again, I DETEST having to do thousand one hundred Math holiday homework.

I dream, I was holding a big bunch of balloons all labelled with all the friends that I know, I have. then each time I lose one, pop goes the balloon.
and each time I make a new one, I inflate one more. but then the number of balloons is so big that it lifts me off earth. that's my problem. I prioritize very, unnecessary stuff. NOT THAT FRIENDS ARE UNNECESSARY. but family comes first right?
so now, I have to give it a big tug.
because I can't have anyone helping me-I lost hope. now I regret saying that :/

darn earache. thanks to my lifeless, flat pillow.

where's my tin of letters? I have to reply to 4 people and read one. I think I need a bigger box now (:

okay, I shall pray first then read the book with the lemony picture then put muscle relief and go to sleep. why so early? my mum insists I MUST fast tomorrow to pay back or else there will be no time. well, have to agree with her.

pop the stars (:

lets just say I get affected VERY EASILY by negative stuff on other people's blogs, no matter whoever it's directed to.

you know, about that 'vision', or rather this very fast daydream, it's actually true after I asked around. like what my pm says, "I found you, just how I imagined it would be." nice eh? (:

I REALLY HATE HAVING 4 MATHS PAPERS TO DO. plus e-learning. but what to do.

why is the loading bar there, when there is nothing to load? I mean in Mozilla Firefox, since I'm using it now.

TIARA you know when I found your blog I just jumped for joy(: ah finally found your blog man. aye remember we were very close in primary school? (and the coughcough gossip during swimming carnival). when you won Northland Star I wanted to just congratulate you 'personally' but yeah, loads of people were swarming around you. OH AND I TELL YOU I'LL JUST GIVE ANYTHING TO PERFORM IN THE MUSICAL AGAIN. last time we had to wait for SO LONG but the lucky thing was that I get to go to the contestants' room and talk to them about stuff. ok someday we go outing together aye; (:

I can't study for Geo today. the words just blur by, can't get stuck in my head. howw. I think I go study for SS/Hist.

I have a gut feeling that I'm called a "teacher's pet", so called. why, apparently because well, there are reactions on faces which I can't really say are hidden. OH AND I JUST REMEMBERED, I KNOW WHAT TO GET FOR SARAH TAN'S BIRTHDAY even though it's far away. (hint; prime numbers! and a whole lot of milk.)

these are some of the pictures I got from the last person on earth album on flickr.
the first:


the second:


the third:


nice?

btw; I give a great deal of respect for the people who really have much more potential that is hidden inside them, without the outside people knowing.

promises are a great big deal. I have to keep them; one of them, if I break it, someone will come after me in a green monkey umbrella. ouch.

yea, apa harus buat. kita kan, hanya orang kecil. mau jadi besar, eh pasti ada yang menghalang. nah kalau gini, harus terbiasa aja. soalnya bagaimana mau berubah? (hehe, dengerin lagu ST12-Jangan Pernah Berubah walaupun kayaknya nggak 'related'.) kadangkala, ada saat saat di mana kita akan berasa seperti orang-orang yang nggak ada makna, lebih baik kalau kita nggak ada di situ.

betul, kan. walaupun di sini kayaknya masalah seperti ini nggak timbul sebesar-besar di SMP, tapi di balik semua itu, ada cerita yang ternyata sangat besar.

aku pikirin semua ini, ada tekanan pada saat-saat. nangis kerana semua ini. pasti kamu berempat juga ada rasa yang sama. malah, ada satu yang udah beritahu bahawa dia ada masalah yang sama.

tapi, Peterpan pernah berkata, "tak ada yang abadi."

Theresa I wonder why things are like this between us. there's a bad firasat, bad feeling about this. and I feel sad about it. why everytime you walk past it hurts. I know you would ust take this as a small matter, but to me, I think very deeply. I make everything big.
I'm sorry.
I know I hurt you a lot, I stare out of the window so that only the wind would see my tears. I read the blog, and knowing that my post was the last, I can't say anything but just sigh.
I wonder why things are like this. I know, it might be due to the separate classes and that we can't help it. and that,
friends are not permanent. they come in, float out. so well, if I fade out slowly, that means I did it purposely. I'm really sorry, all this pain, I can't hold it longer - do I have to let you go?

next time when I have "heavy feet" I'll just put a cushion below the feet-it helps.

okay. hm, I had grade 8 exam today and I was pretty nervous at first, but when I saw the examiner (I peek peek one (: ) it was phew! last time I got the same examiner, this bald man three times-when I took Grade 5 exam then I saw him I went "oh god" because aiyoh, he say all the scales everything I cannot hear! later he will write "candidate cannot understand instructions" which of course is unfair. bleh my 1st piece, the thirds got mixed up. the 2nd piece was NICE and the 3rd, I forgot to 'sway'. but never mind, it's over! and charlotte, thanks for the motivation and the listening ear (: (:

eh that's coincidence, I was listening to It's Over by Jesse McCartney. anyway.

now I have to concentrate on a math, e math, geog and ss/hist.

I hope KCB, a.k.a Ketika Cinta Bertasbih is going to show in Singapore. I want to see how Furqan is going to look like in his wedding suit. that is, IF they put his wedding in the movie. and speaking of Indonesian movies, adding to my wants list, I want Denias Senandung Di Atas Awan and Laskar Pelangi VCD.

I bought Ronan Keating's new album for my mum (: but I wanted the hits cd but then I said never mind and just bought one Ronan Keating CD. which is of course the latest one. why? because the title is "Songs For My Mother".

oh, and I also got SIMS 3!!! its even better than the previous ones because this time, you can visit the spa, supermarket, park, swimming pool, cafe, city hall, police station all in one CD. last time you have to install separate CDs in order to have other places but now everything is under one roof. aye, tmrw I shall try it out FOR A WHILE.

my Peterpan blogskin has been officially completed. now to just "borrow" codings (of course must get permission) and then substitute and tweak here tweak there a bit and done. also, I'm doing peopleinmylife blogskin (putting different people who play a part in my life-although I couldn't find EVERYONE, but some are SQUADMATES and the bands that I like like The Titans.

I have completely lost track of what date it is. only that I know today there was the PC show which at first I wanted to go but after seeing the I-dont-know-how-many-swarms-of-people there were, uh, I rather go back home.

I know I know. the world is not based on a single person. par exemple, me. look how self-centered I am. I'm trying to make it I was, by blurring out any presence of me, and just being content with what I have. but why, each time I try, I sometimes get successful, sometimes unsuccessful.
and why do I lose dear friends, that were so close, now fading away with each single step.
and why is it that all those faded friends in the past, become my closest. I bite my lip thinking of that. knowing that last time, I use to have those messages. now everytime I go, everytime the signal goes back, there's a blank screen.
how I wished there would be some indication there.
but then again, what I want, I cant get them all. why am I so selfish.

I remember that time, I talked for 30 minutes plus with a friend, at the corridor near the staff room, while she waited for her dad to pick her up. and it's these kinds of moments that makes you just bleh everything out, these moments that make you air-borne and forget about almost everything as word by word spill out.

flickr.com has awesome pictures. like the desolate album that I found that time. it's my opinion only aye. but yeah, do check it out-the photo quality is great.

You can be a witness, you can be a prophet
You can make the whole world believe
Break the strongest fortress, change the way the world thinks
You can build a bridge where foes can meet
Hope for the future, shout it, don't whisper
'cos dreams are what we make them to be
There is hope in every heartbeat, tiny as it seems
You're a beautiful seed

what should I say?
that I'm feeling bored?
or that I have a muscle ache on both my shoulders because of piano lesson yesterday?
or that my toe is bleeding again because I have very itchy hands and peeled somemore skin off?

uh well I did say that already right. so no point.

I WANT TO GET SIMS 3. hehe, although not sure whether it will work. you know the previous Sims can't even work on both computers? so it's there, full of dust. but I still keep it there though. someday maybe it can work on some other computer...though I don't know what it means by "other computer".

what goes up and comes down? A ferris wheel.

IRENE AND HANA I TELL YOU THAT RAFFI AHMAD IS A PLAYBOY ESPECIALLY ON THE DAHSYAT SHOW because dia ngincar Yuni Shara but he already ngincar Luna Maya oh AND HE EVEN TRIED ON MISS WORLD man BISA PERCAYA ATAU NGGAK. I'M JUST PLAYING IT LAH. (: and Tiara if you understand then yeah(:

I just finished reading Ketika Cinta Bertasbih 1 and there's still the 2nd part. I'm not sure if the 3rd part came out though. THE MOVIE CAME OUT ALREADY but it hasn't yet shown in Singapore-which if it will be shown, it would be GREAT then I can invite some people along. back to story, then while I was reading the book I realized that I have La Tahzan at home which I don't really want and want to donate to someone. and after, uh, "careful consideration" I've decided that I want to donate to 2 people who really need it. trouble is, if I donate to the first person, it might be a little too extravagant. but if I donate to the second person then I scared she has a book that is SOMETHING LIKE La Tahzan but NOT La Tahzan. oh, fyi, La Tahzan is like a book to cheer up. it's like the Islamic Indonesian version of 7 habits of successful teenagers or whatever the book is called.

Tetris turns 25 today. 1 hour ago.

oh oh oh I think Charly ST12 looks very nice when he wears religious clothes like this:

SEE.

1. I FOUND SOMEONE'S BLOG (: (jumps in the air.)

2. my eyes are sore, someone pass me a blindfold and blindfold me please.

3. I practiced the first piece for my Grade 8 exam for about an hour (but that hour was in bits and pieces.)

4. I can never understand why the mosquito biteS on my left big toe won't heal.

5. for the past few days I have this vision of me writing these words down on tissue paper.
starbucks logo
blue t-shirt
blackskinnyjeans
converse shoes
black cotton jacket
lookalike like
dotdotdot
dollar note
for some reason.

6. I just realized Aqilah's in RCY too. (:

7. I have very itchy hands, so I peeled off the loose skin on my toe, until DEEP and blood started coming out and I quickly put a plaster.

8. I love the people from my lets-just-say-so-called-mother-tongue-combined-class-clique. which are IRENE HANA SABRINA FAIRUZ ASHIKIN.

9. I want to see the Y2A banners again (:

10. my cousin got A NEW CAR :D uh but which cousin ah? is it that one, or the other one?

I give up. but then,
I shall not.

our friendship that lasted for one half years, was like a good charm. everything came out perfectly, like "tangg" became "tangg". and all the right notes played.

but since that event, all my pieces went catastrophic.
why did I do that.
even though I've let go already, I can't help but regret.

what about the exam next week.
what would happen.
will I crumble down?

and those tears were still fresh.

I couldn't hold back.
because that piece of news, reminded me of the fresh wound.
those pair of eyes that stare back at me;
and worse, it was a terrible situation.

it was more worse than last year. I take all these incidents, NEVER light-heartedly. sometimes, for reasons that wouldn't be understood.

I'm really sorry;
even though it happened long time ago.

okay firstly this post is just bits and pieces of different rantings. so one can be completely not related from the other.

ESTHER GOH YOU JUST GAVE ME A BRILLIANT (sort of) IDEA FOR CLASS T-SHIRT.
THANK YOU! :D

my so-called personal councellor is good. when she grows up I bet you she'll take SOME psychology course at JC hopefully. HOPEFULLY. thank you for helping me out(: oh and you have the highest amount of messages in my message inbox btw!

N N N., I really hope you'll forgive me. I know you said so but I still have this bad gut feeling inside. the wound is still fresh, friend.

there's this guy on this Indonesian TV show that says his jeans are expensive but got loads of holes. a bit the ironic. then he says something but after being asked he says eh I never say anything. alamak, he the one cupu lah dolt.

I'm currently listening to SKSJ (Semakin Ku Kejar Semakin Kau Jauh) by Five Minutes. the more I chase, the more you're further.
Semakin ku kejar semakin kau jauh
Tak pernah letih tuk dapatkanmu
Terus berlari namun ku takut terjatuh lagi
Tak ingin lagi membuat ku perih
Sadarkan aku dari mimpiku

guess what? guess whose letter is on top of the pile, the one that I very painstakingly cared and made sure it didn't get dirty. (:

yesterday I went to fix a light bulb in my room.
today I crossed the road and went to a pub.

my life is really one heck of a joke.

what if the things that we really wanted to say to someone
are actually meant for someone else?

or what if I sneaked up to you and said BOO and you'd scream WHATTT. haha LOL hwee hoon and fairuz (:

and what on earth is comment moderation? I don't understand. and I tried typing __________.blogspot.com and the page actually exists. like strawberry.blogspot.com, or chocolate.blogspot.com. but projectneonlights is nice. eh but others are nice too!

thank you to the people who taught me how to eat with chopsticks during primary school days. eg lydia and a whole bunch of other people.

as I was reading the previous Northland newsletters, haha I saw me and vivian doing cup stacking in one newsletter. then I remember everything, from the time I had long hair to the research thingy at SOME nature reserve. and I also remember the Bintan trip, which was really memorable because there were very funny stuff, like the spider in the toilet and cockroach, the Couchies game (HAHA I DIDN'T LOSE MY BREATH BEING SQUASHED THANK GOODNESS)and when I had bread with nutella and hundreds and thousands. the Art projects that we did with the kids, and then there was this junior of mine who TRIED to speak indonesian, oh and the scandal with taufik I THINK. oh yeah and when the immigration officer thought Adrinna was my SISTER or something.

childhood memories, when you relive them,
man doesn't it give a sense of satisfaction.