생일축하합니다 or HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my awesome fantasticelastically brilliant KEY (키)! :D

even though we only know each other for a really short period of time but during that period I am really extremely blessed to have a friend like you. you showed me care and concern, and when I was down you were there for me (eh I think the last part is pretty obvious lah huh (: ) all those Kpop spazzing moments and my random burstings which you often attributed to Key oppa. the real Key -.- and...ah we did so many fun things together. and AH THE WINDMILL and its 2 leaves! btw it doesn't distract us lah PLEASE. there's some joy seeing it spin real fast because of 3 winds : front side side. oh and I hope you really liked my letter (: AH shoot I haven't replied your letter! okay I hope you like my birthday present, took me until 2.45 am lo. still ;) Key, I know you can do it, and I have faith in you. I have faith, belief and determination that you can do it. when there's rough times, there will surely be an iron hanging somewhere that can help you iron out the creases. but know this, I wanna help. and my Jonghyun wants to help too. not that you're bad, NO NEVER NEVER. but as a SHINee family~, we must help each other ne? okay this whole entire text sounds really familiar. sorry for the lack of originality ): okay Key, 사랑해요! (:

SERIOUS, THAT'S TAEMIN?!?! wtf? so different! and WTH THERE'S NO RIGHT IN CALLING THE PHONE LIKE THAT, it's my right. copycat.

have I ever said how much I love SHINee's Lucifer MV? :D and the number of times I watch the video is MUCH MUCH more than any SHINee MV. not even Ring Ding Dong. oh damn anyways.

I'm feeling joy in something that I usually don't feel joy in, or very little. in contrast, the thing that's suppose to make me happy brought about the exact opposite outcome. and I said, "this is a wonderful example of change." it's hard for me at first, but towards the end of the day I'm starting to adapt, and literally go-with-the-flow. it is hard to adapt to change at first. but if this is what is going to be good for me in the future, then so be it. and come to think of it, this new change has brought about positive outcomes. like positive influences and a higher sense of motivation to do things, and a higher sense of gratefulness. I am thankful.

my Jonghyun's really awesome by the way.
1. NEVER NEVER fails to cheer me up. even though someone can make me really sad for the day but I know in some way or another I'll get my smile back.
2. is an awesome friend; really really awesome. she helps others, and really shows care and concern. and she's there always.
3. helps me in my studies. sometimes when I'm stuck, she will help me.
4. rather than searching a solution for my problems, she makes me learn to go and find myself so that I become independent and not dependent on others. DIY in other words.
5. LOVES JONGHYUN like there's no tomorrow. she thinks the scene where Jonghyun's in the car in the Lucifer MV is freaking hot...which apparently I seem to agree with!

and I know my Key has potential. I know she does because I can see it. everything's there, just the ability to use these character values wisely and to their maximum potential! I have faith in my Key and I really believe that she can do it.

sometimes I wonder why I write about all these random things, especially about my SHINeefamily [term coined by my HOOBAE (: ]. but there's a reason; because these things have a connection with the events during the week of during that particular day in which I posted stuff. and it is normally something that is big, or affects me. I've finally, finally learned to not be bothered by the criticisms that other people make (and yes, I've found quite good examples that if this was an SEQ question and I provide these examples I think it will ricochet off A1.), especially after counselling. now I can SHUT THEM OFF! it is all a matter of simple filing cabinets and yellow folders containing memories, thoughts, and equations as well as facts and information.

there are some moments where I am just one dust particle close from saying stfu or fo. to people somemore. ah well, I don't think it's enough in some extreme cases...oh who cares anyway. I am not going to barricade my personality by some stupid thoughts or words, I'm going to let it shine. I no longer care, I am just going to machine gun everything away. (by the way the everything does not mean EVERYTHING! I use it for a particular group of things that I can't really describe it here.) nothing's going to stop. my dream is to see the willow finally grow, and stand straight, tall.

one more thought : let's call another group of things that I am about to refer in this paragraph as gold coins. and these are mine. obviously if someone steals, or makes a dent, or melt them to recast them into new, more value coins, I'll be pretty mad and pissed off. and I will try to defend. to some people, this is too much and over the top but who the bloody damn cares lah please. thiefs, vandals, robbers, people-that-make-damage, JUST STOP and get away! don't ruin the gold coins!

okay, here's the end. the paragraphs sound like someone that's really a little, over-there. but by using a little inference, the meaning's clear. obviously if the skills are not there then go read the SS textbook.

“Blinding ignorance does mislead us. O! Wretched mortals, open your eyes!”

1. I cannot bear to see someone spiralling down into darkness helplessly. even though that someone's not that close. so I'm going to help, I'm going to throw an arm to save that person before it is too late. but if that person falls down into the hole, hopefully there will be enough common sense to figure out a way to climb out again.

2. Studying until 5 in the library with Jonghyun, bling bling, uh Sarah Tan and Phoebe, and Taemin and other people is really productive. sometimes I feel like bringing someone up there - the place is really good.

3. RACIAL HARMONY DAY! I got an Onew-Jonghyun-Minho picture just now :D and a 2min one! yay. furthermore I watched Lucifer loads of times today and I got a ZE:A picture and I recently found out that Constance likes ZE:A too. what a small world (:

4. I wish I could, but for some apparent reason I can't. I want but I hope. and I won't let go.

youngest member of SHINee,
SHINee's maknae and lead dancer,
Lee Taemin.

happy birthday Taemin oppa (:

LISTEN UP LISTEN UP...
SHINee's new album is called Lucifer. nice name, but there's going to be a bit of controversy! anyways. wonderful! (((:

SHINEE'S NEW MV CAME OUT ALREADY!!
1. Taemin's look was MUCH better in the ending.
2. Minho's freaking hot, as usual -.-
3. Jonghyun's so wow! WOW! :D
4. I was a bit shocked about Key's hair at first, but it kinda worked here!
5. Onew looks SO SO DIFFERENT :D

conclusion : I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE FULL MV. super excited!! ((:

_____________________________________________________


BIG BANG - HARU HARU (DAY BY DAY)
I really really love this song.

btw, yesterday I thought I wouldn't be able to go back home with my Onew but because of some miracle, (: I managed to! but the trip was super short, what, 30 minutes only?!? sigh this is what happens when Prelims are coming and O Levels' coming too. oh wait that means I'd better go and mug. BUT ANYWAY, give me a break first! anyways, I showed her the SHINee medley that was really really nice. [I liked Ready Or Not (: ] and listened to 4minute's HuH (Hit Your Heart). actually I also had a lot of tuition homework, same as her (: bet she hasn't seen SHINee's new teaser yet. I'm sure she will LOVE it (:

OH, THANK YOU KEY for ordering Version A and the Onew file :D

I must really watch my feelings because in this period, it's the same as the reaction between sodium and any acid. example, sulphuric acid. an immediate reaction occurs, and there's nothing to turn it back. but then, some feelings are just common sense, while others are just pure amplification.
someone once told me that "when you have met someone that has made you happy, never let go." but as another person said, what if Y grabs hold, and really, really doesn't and cannot let go? it is then wiser to let go instead of walking around with a person hanging on Y's chains. it is better to treasure that "person who has made you happy" and life will be a bed of roses. and that way, we reflect and improve ourselves, and for some special cases restrain ourselves.

It is not only fate, to give up again and again
Although my heart remembers each parting deeply
A moment’s giving up turns into heavy burdens
I can never forget you;

_____________________________________________________________

"it is these small, minor or major problems that make a friendship grow stronger, right?"
"friendships are oh so precious, though there are bound to be ups and downs along the way (:"

"I didn't expect to start crying when I turned on the computer tonight."

"during Mother Tongue, cause I was so bored, I just wrote this on my foolscap paper."

these are some of the quotes that I think is quite memorable.

maybe I'll just lie low for a while and be independent. I'll go myself, and each time at that place, I'll be alone for now. 3 chairs empty, one chair full. with books and things and my blueish best friend staring at me...it's time to be independent. someone once told me that. so now, I will walk the path alone until I feel that time is of the right frame of mind. at the same time, I'll improve my English, which of course is a good thing :D but yes, alone there I go. build my own boat and sail it alone. I don't want to be a burden to other people, and affect other feelings just because of my selfish reactions and opinions. it has happened so many times, one time very recently, and now I just sit and think, why the bloody heck did I do such a thing. time can heal all wounds, and I'm putting faith in that quote. this self-inflicted wound, I want to heal by myself. no one is to blame for it. I have been pulling a corpse around, as a result of my actions, dragging it around with a rope that might fray anytime. rather than carry on the journey, I would rather cut the rope, and give the corpse a proper burial, with tombstone and flowers. then... after that it's all simply up to fate.

now I'll rest and wake up to a brand new day, on a brand new journey. somehow, I hope it will work. shut off from a necessity, staring at words, working my heart and brain off. mian haeyo;

so the really awesome topic of "productivity" crops up starting this week. I should go and study study study! then I'll get really awesome results and that will be like the fly swatter that kills flies with little splatters of blood. it doesn't mean anything, just that it suddenly cropped in my mind.
thanks to something, my mind is currently blinking up, and really recharged. but it's undergoing reshuffling and restructuring. thanks to that something, I found out that sometimes I have no choice but to put my foot down. thanks to that something, I've gained more motivation to do the things that I should really do. so in a way, that something brought both good things and bad things to me.

"in a way, it is like mozzarella cheese on a pizza - get a grip, but can't let go until a really, long way."

btw my Jonghyun and I wants to go to the same JC. YAY THEN LET'S DO IT. (and we can start calling each other cool names and chase each other with windmill sticks and just sing Number 1 by 2AM :D ooh and Seulong oppa's cute! :P)

I was in class, busy doing the Congruence and Similarity worksheet when suddenly tp went and put a small white laptop and guess what was there :O THE PICTURE!!!!! thank you so much! and ZE:A's comeback coming really really soon! woots (: and then I was in the library with bling bling and I went up to get a Chem guide/book when I saw TAEMIN ! and I ran up the stairs and asked "omgiddy did you see the pic? he looks freaking hot!" and she said something about Onew and Jonghyun's look (: yay both of us can't wait! off to tell my Onew and Jonghyun! wait, Onew's in tuition, later I go disturb her :P

in case, wondering, haha it has a deeper meaning (: can't wait! but the clue is, SHINee is BACK.

end of story, ya dah, whatever, so what.
BUT NO, IT'S JUST the freaking beginnning. the dreaded Os -.- I took the car keys and drove the car already. I really want to go to the pit stop, but I can't, because I have to move on, and on.

btw, ZE:A's new racing concept ROCKS :D somehow Taehun's hair is weird but I like. and Dongjun's still HOT and AWESOME. Kwanghee's also WOW (: but Leader Junyoung went through a drastic change to his hair I think, I saw during the teaser photos. and Kevin dyed his hair blonde also right? I like Hyungshik's look too.

I'll go, on this path and just go on and on. accelerate, don't stop can't stop. it's always moving forward, never backwards. and on the way I'm going to pick people up, because I can't bear to see them suffer on the way, and I really wanna help. but then, I need my own crew. and when I think again, this is a one-man show that is bringing positive results.

I'll go, I'll grab on and never let go. must be focused, and gotta ch-ch-ch-change. I want to conquer my own personal mountain, because there are some bonds that I have right now that I can never bear to break. and stick a flag there, and call it mine. the race, it the the last turn and street, last lap. let's run this together. the gunshot's far behind, the echo's ringing. but I, still running on this track. to PERSEVERE, FOCUS and AIM for that one, last red ribbon that's going to be the most challening ever.

shut up, keep negative comments to oneself. why let other people mold chess pieces for me that can end up deformed, when I might as well do myself? don't stop believing, and show that it is time. at the end, those big white wings are going to cause pain.

by the way, the above paragraphs are somehow a reflection of today. they also show what I want to do, and my personal opinions on things that had happened. unfortunately, it's in a weird, mixed up delusional language that only few people can understand - but which is good.

"I'm going to be stronger;"

side note: I want Germany Mesut Özil's T-shirt, Japan Keisuke Honda's T-shirt and Korea Republic Park Ji Sung's T-shirt. (:

I'm doing something that might seem as really dangerous; but it's for the benefit of my future, and my other friends, and for my self-esteem. also, for my personal benefit as well. it's going to be intensive, and if I faint, I'm ready.

btw, I made this myself.(:
"ON the desk! a cockroach! EW!"

"JOjo's playiNG again and again in my Head. " "but Y.o.U. rocks, No?"

"omgiddy, the KEYboard in your house is awesome."

"Me? IN the chemistry lab just now? HO ho ho, you must be wrong."

"TAngent cosine sine .... argh, EMaths Is easier! my trigoNometry sucks!"

to my ONEW, JONGHYUN and TAEMIN (OH and KEY):
this year is our O Levels, ne? study hard, FOCUS, concentrate! of course you can digress, but make sure to always go back to the path! especially with SHINee's comeback and tons of Kpop stuf happening during this period. plus World Cup and YOG but that's a different story! anyways. (sigh I should really be getting back to Geog but unfortunately I digressed ALOT. that's so contradictory D:) for the past few years of my schooling life in Cedar, especially after I started LOVING SHINEE ♥, you guys have been really awesome! for example, when I was down, you will always be there, showing care and concern even though it might take away some of your precious time that can very well might be used for other things. and the JOY we had spazzing about our BELOVED SHINEE OPPAS :D btw, they are really awesome and cute, ne? sigh, all the happy memories that we have... the next few seconds, days, weeks, and months will be challenging, with many obstacles that can easily wear us out. so, persevere, continue to SHINE and FIGHTING!~

honestly, you guys have been a source of motivation for me. I've treasured my life more, and I feel more joy in doing the daily things in life (although well, sometimes I go a little off course...) and I want to thank you all. for being like SHINing stars. even though our friendship might not be that long (yup, especially,) but to me it is not about how long I've known the person, but it is the impact that the person has made to me. the small nice, kind gestures really goes a long way. and I really appreciate it. so, kamsa hamnida for everything single thing that you have done. once again, you guys rock! (:

this year's going to be the Year Of Us and we're going to show, that we can do it. and so, we are. 사링해요 ♥ and here's a picture for you!