okay so YAY I can go back to school tmrw. cause I miss like almost everyone, it really sucks to be sick without communication with ANYONE...uh well with the exception of Ying Chao and a couple of my friends. and there's EYD as well.

oh yes, speaking of which, I've changed my handphone theme, it's now a bright yellow sunrise theme. NOT because I feel really happy and high (which btw is really rare nowadays) but to suit my new wallpaper which is that Vierra Senam Muka commercial which has a yellow background.

oh AGAIN speaking of that Vierra commercial, it was WIDY VIERRA that was drinking the strawberry flavour, after watching it again and again...and again. wait but in the website it was Raka Vierra...oh no so confusing! aiyah nvm, STRAWBERRY is my favourite. yum(: that reminds me that time when I ate fresh strawberries with low fat sugar. haha(: it was in the hotel, and desperate situations...

okay I've taken my medicine. now I have to use that inhaler and then upload the other 2 Vierra Mountea commercials onto my phone..and then I sleep.

yuck, phlegm.

rainbow'ss splendourr. oh that was one of my previous blogskins.

lalala.

I smell the fires of doom...damn.
I swear alot, seriously.

why is everything so random again? I have no idea.

so I'm sick again, because the cough came up again. brilliant. okay let's just hope it stops by tmrw because I really really want to go back to school on Friday! EYD mah. and because there's training...or so I think.

so I just watched Jeff Dunham's puppet show and I think Peanut is really funny. like
BMW= Big Mexican Woman. HAHA(: and the talking jalapeno I was talking about in some previous post? well he always says "in a stick." "in a stick." and he always pronounces it as "steak".
so...
Achmed the Dead Terrorist (I've watched that already...)
Peanut
Jose Jalapeno on a Stick
Bubba J
Walter
Melvin the Superhero

so I think those are his puppets. but Terry Fator is amazing too, like the video where his puppet sang Etta James in one of the previous posts.
really, ventriloquists should be given some form of applause and commendation, no? (:


"...sweet disposition and gentle temperament." haha I don't get that sentence! how can you be temperate and gentle at the same time...or does it mean like that? well that means I have to brush up on my vocab huh.

almond water's never tasted this awful.

sleeping from 10 to 8, then 11 to 2, then 4 to 7, in the end you'll just feel like a zombie.

falling sick is awful.
you have to take one hundred thousand types of medicines,
have a very very careful and strict diet,
cannot do this cannot do that,
take all sorts of ridiculous liquids (like almond water),
miss out on lessons and important stuff,
sleep like ALOT,
cut off from communication (wait there is such thing as SMS).

um anything else?

man, this is horrible.
sorry.

I'm just going to be "quiet", quoted.

there's pain in my throat..and since my MC doesn't cover until tmrw, I still have to go for jogging. goodness's sake.

today I went to Changi Chapel Museum with squadmates..and I shall elaborate it some other time.

yay the Vierra Senam Muka Mountea commercial (: (: (:
and I must say, the Double D in The Master Junior are cute, cause they remind me of Cakka IC2. no wonder all those female screaming fans...goodness.

HAHA VIERRA SENAM MUKA (:
Widy, Kevin, Raka, Trian.

side note : I think Kevin drank the Mountea that I REALLY LIKE which is STRAWBERRY.
and all the 3 guys are :D :D :D/ I really want to meet VIERRA!
really bad.

ah yes their cd! I really really want it.

I'm still sick, the confunded cough and running nose. haha I agree, everyone's falling sick. the lozenges taste horrible and I don't think it even works, honestly. it just fills your mouth with that awful taste and nothing falls down your throat.

help!

ok shall go listen to Sampai Kau Bicara by Hijau Daun.

I AM SO IN LOVE WITH the MUSIC VIDEO of VIERRA-BERSAMAMU.



first thing I'm going to do when going back to Indonesia is to buy VIERRA CD.

now Im going to find that talking jalapeno-on-a-stick video. (:

brilliant THROAT INFECTION, and running nose. oh the fever went POOF! I guess the panadol really works eh.

the caps lock button is really addictive. after typing anything I MUST press the caps lock button twice.

urgh I hate falling sick! you know, the doctor prescribed 7 types of medicine and at night time I have to take them all. and since that allergy thingy due to a suspected drug allergy, I have to ask my mum "this one can take? later allergy how? must see doctor later how?"

you know, I just randomly told Riffana "see I like this guy," while showing pics of Kevin Aprilio to her. then I said "one day he will be mine HAHA," of course lah jokingly. I mean if it really comes true then I will give a thousand thanks to The One Above.

okay that was random. but like I said in some posts, I treat blogger like Twitter at times, putting very very random stuff in different paragraphs.

dang, my running nose. :/

I am:

reading : my blog post.

listening: currently it's Keterlaluan by The Potters. oh and does listening a video counts? if so then I add Achmed The Dead Terrorist.

watching : the computer screen.

eating : nothing. I had lunch just now and my Tussil just now as well.

drinking : NOTHING! although well..I want a Milo...

wishing : for the throat infection to go away and my running nose and other watziznehm-s in my body to go away. oh and of course to pass my O Level HMT.

thinking : why someone suddenly became happy again. haha but that was good, compared to yesterday. and where is the headphones jack on this computer (since I'm using the school one see.)

doing : typing this post.

okay that was another random post.

come to think of it, I like the blogskin image (: but that was because I looked at the original image belonging to doughnutcrazy and modified.

again, damn the nose.

condemnationalistically. I thought that was the longest word that was ever known until I read this Puzzle book by Reader's Digest that my grandpa gave to me. and the longest word is:
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
which means:

a lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica volcanic dust, causing inflammation in the lungs.

okay so that explains the volcanoconiosis part..

oh wait, there's even longer words but they are names of cities.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_place_names#Place_names
and
http://www.fun-with-words.com/word_longest.html
and this is the longest chemical name:
http://luminaryuprise.wikidot.com/longest-word

CRAZY! and I thought all the strange chemical names on the shampoo bottles were long enough.

haha this is fun. FOR ME.

I wish someone could create some sort of Facebook blogskin.

ew, phlegm.

I want to watch Projek Cerpen NATASHA ARINA again.

The story is about a woman named Dewi who is overcome with greed when she realises that her husband has left a portion of his wealth to their twin girls, Natasha and Arina. She befriended a grocery delivery boy and managed to entice him to agree with her plans. What happens later in the story will bring about some changes in the life of Hakim, the delivery boy, who is so affected by what he had done especially after he finds out the truth about the twins. What really happen to the twins and how has it affect Hakim?

okay so now I'm watching it and Dewi is making a call so that Natasha will go back home by herself...OH! Hakim's biological sister, Sarina meets the maid outside the house because she says Natasha and Arina ARE HER SIBLINGS. so without knowing it, Hakim is murdering his own siblings. but Arina escapes and takes another route, so only Natasha was murdered. Dewi and Hakim were sentenced to death, and in the ending, Dewi was actually pressurized by her mother, or mother-in-law or her split personality.

they say it's a cruel world.

I know it's crazy, but twins are really more than what we think because their blood relationship is much much stronger than anyone's else.

RANDOM!
random random random.
ohtherandomness.
damn.

(btw, I've stopped putting song lyrics as blog titles and I'm going to come up with my own ones.)

let me just remember...
1. cut out design.
2. trace on thick card I think...something clean. make duplicates and stick together.
3. if want to make it "inside", make the bar first then quickly stick the card first.
4. if want to pop out, then buy and ask how to make, then make a thin one and used a strip to make it stick out.

retarded, crazy, but it's something I plan to do.

oh yes I got the white specs! so now everytime I'm in the mood to wear specs I just eeney meeney miney more. or the other version of it...I forgot now.

and I watched Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince with Priyanka, Anita, Asha, Poornima, Nikita, Shri, and Monica on Saturday. we missed 5 minutes of it but never mind! the popcorn hurt my teeth again, thanks ah. I didn't buy the Wizard combo because later halfway I go toilet to pee and I don't want to miss anymore of the movie.

"brains like that, you could be a Death Eater son. didn't I just tell you my Patronus is a goat?"

oh no, the Angels and Demons tickets. I must remember to give them to the respective owners. and REPLY 2 MORE PEOPLE. I just bought yellow foolscap paper so I can use that to write. they say yellow brightens up people...or so it seems.

if the KCB movie is not showing in Singapore, I rather buy the VCD later when I get back to Indonesia.

clapclap, clapclap.

RANDOM. but well, everyday I feel that way. like I said, washing machine, bowl of soup. yum, btw.

I think this song is nice, btw.
YOVIE AND NUNO - BUNGA JIWAKU


oh yes, I found a video of Terry Fator who is my favourite ventriloquist. whoa how did he do that man! he can make a female voice, btw.

oh I just found his female role impersonation.


HAHA and thanks to Heather I found a video of ACHMED THE DEAD TERRORIST.


I just wished,
I could do something.

anything.

"you know, last time when I saw the name, there's this very deep regret and some sort of 'sinking' feeling. now I don't really have see. I mean, the letting go thing, I already did let go. so now everytime I hear, I'll just be like 'oh okay yeah...so?' or 'what's your point?' or 'okay no big deal..'."

"really?"

"yeah."

"but from what I see (I'm not trying to offend you or anything), you both are affected. I know that you are affected, but she was affected too."

now it's changed. I used to feel blank; now I hear a new name, and that sinking, regret feeling comes back. and I didn't tell, for fear of not being strong. but this time,I might tell. to let go of the burden. I've told other friends, except one person, the person who was a close friend of mine.

I think it's strange, the people whom you really dislike sometimes act nice to you. I got one example during Chemistry lab lesson. and then, the people whom you feel really sorry to, really want to apologize to, feel regret, when they do something nice to you, you get really happy. REALLY happy;

it's like a bowl of slushy soup.

or a washing machine, whish whish slush slush wash wash.

I think ventriloquists are AWESOME. they can make voices from their throat without moving your mouth.

I know I'm sometimes crazy. this time I want to run across a field carrying a red balloon. and run without losing breath. to be free, to feel the wind blowing your hair and your face, it gives something refreshing to myself. and yes, if possible, I'd like to run with someone.

and I know who(:

ah yes;
maybe the time would have come.
but some people won't allow;

I'm going to watch HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE with Priyanka, Anita and some other friends at GV. oh yes, I have to buy some stuff also like this book and one more important item, because I need it for Sports Day, School NDP, and other competitions.

I used to be a spy, I remembered. I told Anita what happened. but this time I'll never do it again because it was a complete was of time.

Man, the Investigative Journalism assignment;

I've changed my currently listening, it's

The Potters - Keterlaluan
Terbang - Vierra

eyes sore,
watering,
filled with deepest
sadness
regret

and I must say,
I give up
I don't want to do the same thing again

and I want to know
why
and why not.

just brainwash
forget
don't remember.

and breathe through
although because of this
I'm dying.

when I went to the pasar malam near my house, I went pass this big big table of CDs and there was a TV and guess what it played...HARI YANG CERAH UNTUK JIWA YANG SEPI by PETERPAN. it's true that I was walking alone..and feeling down after what happened at school, as usual. I thought it was going to be okay by Chemistry, but after something clicked and fell into place, I'm just going to destroy any hope. and I wanted to say something but the thing I'm about to say, it's OFTEN in my other posts. so you can call it..a bit like cliche. and a bit despair-ing.

I meant the forgive part. why bother hearing it every single day, it will make people sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over again and again.

and today is...thursday. oh yes, I told teh lian something that wasn't really important but it was like curhat, the what-I-feel-currently-inside. at least you know the problem aye. (:

MY NEW SPECS :D but they hurt a bit at the side and I'll have to clean it again.

Ying Chao's dictionary is AWESOME because there's alot of stuff inside, so it's not only a dictionary, it's like a personal organizer. and I like the game SOKOBAN! I can't even get through Level 4 pleasee. SOKOBAN is a game where you are the warehouse worker and you have to push the crates to the designated areas. problem is, you cannot pull a crate, you cannot push two crates at one time. so if you push the crate to a corner, good luck to you.

I'm falling asleep, again;

I HAVE AN AWESOME LAB PARTNER. unfortunately she pokes me as well.

oh yes, guess what dihydrogen monoxide is. the answer is really simple. there was this email hoax about this, I think a boy started it by saying BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE and passed it to everyone, without even knowing WHAT the substance is. I think there was even a science organization that agreed with it.

but I can't seem to get a response;
this way it's too hard to see.

because I see emotionless faces. I guess I'm not belonged, I suppose.

and through it all;

my specs make my happy and gives off good luck. I have no idea why. but they say seeing is believing.

sometimes it takes courage more than a lion to go on.

many people convinced me that, it's over, full stop, it's resolved, done, zilch zip nada, no need to fuss through again. but the problem is that, I might not feel what another friend feels. for example, I might think my friend has forgiven me, but actually my friend hasn't done so, so it's called assuming and it's bad. and then there is also the other way round. and then, there is the idea of letting go of something.

I thought I was lost in reality as I stared at life's daily imperfections.

it feels as though time has stopped as you reflect as you see all that happened around you. and life is not all perfect;

sometimes we get caught up in our problems that we forget one thing: LOVE.

we fight all the time, among friends, among couples. but sometimes we get carried away, blame each other, that we forget the very existence of the relationship. example is a married couple. the wife accuses the husband of doing something, the husband defends it, then they all fight involve everyone, but they forget-what are they? it's like friends also.

and someday, we'll just talk through it,
bring back past darkness,
but hopefully we'll be fine.

I'm going to write like this again, can introspeksi (reflect) myself.

Number 1. I feel like Cal Vandeusen just now at school. see the twit there, scroll down on your right. but the difference is that Cal has a British accent and is engaged with Chloe, whereas I do NOT have a British accent and is NOT engaged with ANYONE.

Number 2. I feel like singing PUTUS NYAMBUNG by BBB (Bukan Bintang Biasa) because well, some people just don't take relationships seriously. we call it PUPPY LOVE. I actually have a bundle of stuff to say in Malay but, it's pretty short-form, insulting, and full of swear words...so I shall keep it to myself.

Number 3. I peeled the skin on my thumb and...it bled so I put plaster. oh, that give me a GOOD IDEA. :D

Number 4. Sabrina Fairuz Ashikin are AWESOMEE. Sabrina I can count on her, we've known each other for 2 plus years. Fairuz and Ashikin we've known each other for 1 yr, and although I talk to Fairuz more but yall are still AWESOMEE. thanks you guys, from being listening ears, lovely friends and helping each other. especially kat combined MT class, so fun. (: alamak FAIRUZ I NEVER GET YOU BIRTHDAY PRESENT. ): EH SABRINA ALSO.

Number 5. I'm currently reading a BIG "war" on someone's tagboard. wahh lots of scandal man. makanya, siapa nyuruh jadi gitu...

Number 6. I GOT ZERO DEGREES SPECS! alamak but dark brown. I wanted black!

Number 7. I still have NOT found the bamboo bracelet.

Number 8. I REALLY want to get lost again like...on Monday. OH and ANITA OMG YOU'RE STILL THE SAME *coughcough* slow person. HAHA(: I was thinking of what happened at the, 61 bus just now and remember we started laughing like crazy people? well yeah, you're not the only one that is asking when are they going to get back, me too. but come to think of it, the gap has advantages. I look at the both of them, reminds me of my past. and think, man I used to be like them last time until I learnt something.

Number 9. I better throw the plaster packaging.

Number 10. I'm craving ICE LEMON TEA and, I'm going to make one glass of ICE LEMON, instant but a bit of work. so I'll stop here now.

I NEED TO FIND A BAMBOO BRACELET,
ZERO DEGREES SPECS,
ICE.

and I feel like creating another blog, pure Indonesian, no English.

yesterday, because of the allergy I went to see the doctor because I couldn't contorl anymore and I just kept scratching non-stop. then after a LONG WAIT, it was our turn and the doctor suspected it was a food allergy or a drug allergy because of the Ramly burger and the antibiotics that I got...so now he says to take the NEW medicine he's given me. also, I got an INJECTION to treat the allergy which works!

so today for "safety precautions" my mum said don't go for french. haha(: and went back home with Anita again! and I suggested getting lost again because the 61 bus was coming but she firmly said "no!"

the new edition of THE NORTHLANDER! is staring back at me. along with 2 handphones, one thumbdrive, 3 old Angels and Demons tickets, an unsharpened pencil and pen, 2 cables and a laptop. oh that reminds me I have to reply Sarah tan and 2 other people. and get the MU stuff and get a better bigger box for the letters!

I'm falling asleep.

I can't hold on anymore.
everyday, I just feel pain, or PERIH everyday. and I felt so guilty.
why;
because I hurted those that were never meant to be hurt,
and now those hurt won't talk to me anymore.
sometimes I would chalk up an apology,
but the words never seem to come out.

we never talked to each other ever again since that day.
we only smiled to each other, said Hello.
but in means of conversing, we didn't.

I wanted your forgiveness because
until now I still feel like I'd never be forgiven. and it really hurts if I found out that due to my actions, I lost friends that I really hoped would soon be close friends.
I know this might not be read by the right person, (although someday I do hope.)
that I'M SORRY,
and living with this pain and remorse everyday,
trying to find inner strength but this incident just crashes everything
and takes me back to the first shard.

HAHA today was a LONG LONGG STORY.

first we had a "war" over who posted first on the LMS during mother tongue. and we're suppose to vet other people's comments also...but in the end not many people did man, quote from Amirah! oh that reminds me how was the test. wait I go ask her tmrw.

then after school, Anita and I went back home and took the first bus that came, which was 61. then we forgot to press the button, so the bus just sped past the bus stop which we supposed to stop! then Anita thought "aiyah never mind next stop can." then she asked "uh..what bus is this?" and then it went all the way to this POSB Bank! after that we were fighting on which way to go-because she suggested walking back all the way to the bus stop but then I saw this Areit building which looked like the exact building near the old cedar. then I suggested taking 8 or 90 to go to the bus stop in front of that building and crossing the road and taking 8 or 90. why, because that was the exact route that we took to go back home from old Cedar...so I pretty much remembered which way. so we took 8 all the way to Toa Payoh MRT, stopped at Khatib and walked.

then I bought 2 Ramly burgers for me and my mother. and GUESS WHAT WHEN I WENT BACK HOME I STARTED ITCHING ALL OVER. like then were these rashes all over my body which were REALLY REALLY ITCHY! then I put prickly heat but it's still very itchy until now! I really really hope it can cure. my mum said there was something with the burger that I was allergic to. oh my gosh can the itching stop!!!
it's irritating!

okay shall not talk about it for the time being.
well, shall go and take a nap first.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WAN PING (: ON 10TH JULY!
AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANISIAH(: ALSO ON 10TH JULY!

and a BELATED BIRTHDAY TO SHABRANAH(:

yay you all are lovely FIFTEEN-S.

oh btw, Im craving for NACHOS WITH TOMATO SAUCE. tmrw Im going to buy that..no wait Im going to buy some MU merch from the pasar malam and maybe something for a friend because her birthday is coming soon.

listening currently to:
Civil Twilight - Letters From The Sky
Netral - Garuda Di Dadaku
I wish blogger had a small Twitter thingy at the side or something.
but wait I think I saw that on someone's blog, I'm going to check it out.

1 KARANGAN LEFT! the projek Bahasa Melayu dialog thingy. it's pretty difficult because I'm scared of offending anyone and I'll put something wrong there.

WAIT.
I finished it already! and I put that twitter thingy already. twitter is QUITE cool, acts like a sub for blogger at times.

on friday I went to help out my mum with shopping at night time and it was pretty strange, carrying a trolley around. and after all the stuff was in there, it was quite heavy, so much so that I had to arch my back just to pull the trolley!

I'm just going to sleep. I first:
finish typing,
close Mozilla Firefox,
shut down,
drink milk,
wash the cup,
brush teeth,
wuduk for prayers,
pray,
stuff the compositions and important stuff for tmrw in my school bag,
choose btwn fan and aircon,
on either one,
shut the door,
off the light,
sleep.

I just feel something.
is it what they call
ENVY?

STUPID EARACHE,
and FEVER.

why.

this is worse than term 2.
even worse.
maybe I should go counselling after all.
just thinking about it,
I wonder why
I did that mistake.

no point turning back now.

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY THEODORA(:

yes, for once I DO feel like slapping myself.
HARD.
and smile after that,
even though it can hurt.

I remember one time I commented: I cut my hair (oh wait now I remembered it was before x country) now look like my 5 year old cousin who really really loves to take pictures of herself.

technically I'm closer to my mother's side compared to my father's side-because compare once-a-month-see-each-other for 11 months with everyday-see-them-for one month. ironic right since my mother's side is so far in Java theeerrree...but my father's side is here in Singapore. haha omg and my cousins damn cute! when they saw me they just started grabbing my hand and pulling me everywhere. I think when you see what you think it normal but for them its like something new, its life enriching and makes you think how lucky we are to be here. example, we sleep in nice comfortable beds but they sleep on mattresses for half their lives. or, going to a swimming pool is like a daily activity but to them it is a once in a lifetime opportunity. haha Idk why so random.


they are SOME of my cousins because Alfan I think went toilet. there is Minet then Sasa, Ria (who is the 5 year old cousin I mentioned just now which you can see clearly because she is the one right at the front) then Andrew (pronounced as ANDRE) and Alifia. oh we went to Bali to pick up my father and we stayed at Paradisio Hotel. I want to go there again(:


my cousin Bagas(: oh yeah I remembered one time he thought the milk bottle was a car.

YUJIE THE ALL ROUNDER YOU MUST BALANCE YOURSELF BETTER! oh and I want to lose weight too like you. haha(:

I really need to lose my weight. to about 3 kg so that I become 48.
and I ate 9 CHOCO-CORNFLAKES, record breaking. Aarthi D. says she loves them(:
ironic.

I passed my Grd 8 exam(: then mother bought Magnum and cooked fried rice for the family also(:

tomorrow...
leave the rest to upstairs.

I need to talk. or curhat, whatever.

I just cried after oral. well actually when I reached home. it wasn't because of the oral, although I admit I stammered a bit. it was because,
of what happened that was somehow related to the oral.

why?
I still regret to this day.
now everyone's avoiding me;
even though there is 6.

why?
I can't be forgiven, no matter what.
no matter how many people convince me.

you know, where I sit in class, I can just burst into tears. it reminds me of a chain reaction, when it happens on one person, he/she tells others, they will think I'm bad. okay I'm just going to continue and carry on. that's why Mother Tongue, you may think I'm enjoying myself, but the PERIH can never be seen. how much pain I suffer during these lessons. there was one time on the way I cried and unfortunately I had to morph the reason. oh well, it teached me to shut up because I can't say anything. and when these times come, sit on a hill and stare out into the open space. or take the path which I try so hard to avoid.
I can just burst into tears, when I see the chairs.

"when you fly this kite in England, you'll see that the spirit of our friendship flies high."

I feel like tearing my hair out. and I feel like flying somewhere,
upstairs.
I really want to make it up to you but I just can't find, the courage.
then I don't deserve it then. I have already done the mistake and living with the life burden of regret and stupidity.
that means:
1. constant thinking of metal,
2. constant banging of heads,
3. self-infliction,
4. worrywarting 24/7,
5. affected grades,
6. less talking.

this hurts
and it's really deep;
I just can't stop the tears flowing,
I suck.

oh take a look as this particular part of Perih by Vierra.

aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih

meaning:
I will survive
even though it's impossible
attacking the story (ah this part I didn't get it, I think its suppose to mean forget it)
although the pain

the stringing is very funny but basically it means try but give up, that kind. pain.
why I brought this up? it's because I feel this almost everyday. it's completely impossible, but that's life. it's really, really unfair. but what to do. today especially but thanks to a special fill-in-the-blank I feel better now.
all those stuff about arrogancy, bitches, copycats, benci (hatred)...wow. I know a friend of mine who feels the same way. if I want to voice out your opinions then she will understand.

I really like my seat yo(: it's nice and I can stare at the outside and relieve me of anything bad. like that time when I really felt down after one lesson I just have to look outside and "blend in".

the PERFECT WORDS TO DESCRIBE IT: LAGU MURAM. (sad song.) quote from Irene...
whoa, Hana can SING WELL MAN. omg never join competition mah?(:

just now Priyanka and I were talking about how the stomach is like a washing machine. because I saw this belly dancing course on a banned and I jokingly asked,
"eh you want to join?"
"no! later all the what, hydrochloric acid will move around..."
"like a washing machine."
"ya!"
then I jk-ingly pretended to press a button called "spin" on my stomach.
then she said "press load! and must put enzymes also!"
"ah detergent."
~long pause~
then I continued "but the difference is that the clothes we put inside will get dissolved. then when they ask where's my clothes? we show them the dissolved clothes."
oh then we talked about something else that I forgot. but it was funny haha(:

then there was the wallpaper! I took this really unglam photo of her sleeping on the bus then I randomnly show here and said,
"you know what I think I want to put this as wallpaper.do you think so?"
"your head lah!"
"but this one your head what..."
HAHA you should see how she laughed, it's damn cute.

Sabrina sms-ed me at 5, telling me about the oral. haha its supposed to be the other way round!

PERIH is so bitter. I mean the feeling lah.
it hurts, it's deep, the wound never heals.
it takes up alot of your heart memory.
I can never stop thinking about it until the person I feel PERIH about realizes that I feel PERIH and apologizes.
I can run away from it for a while, but it will come back.

Vierra, thanks for making this song, really makes me think deeper. trims!

you know, the difference between pacman and us is that we don't go around in the dark chewing tablets and running away from monsters. that's why I invented the word, pacman disorder. anyone having it, please I BEG YOU, go see a doctor.

wait...okay I forgot already.
just forget it.


I WANT TO BUY THIS VCD. where in Singapore?!?!?

the HURRAY FOR BABA ALI VCD.

1. I want the VCD above, as shown.
2. see who is the winner of The Master Season 4.
3. get the MT oral over and done with and MUST PASS.
4. do the reflections.
5. do...one two three FOUR blogskin images like the one above. so that I can just change easily to suit my mood.
6. DOUGHNUTCRAZY WHEREVER YOU ARE I TOOK THE EXACT SAME CODINGS EXCEPT THE IMAGE, I CHANGED THE IMAGE.
7. stupid running nose...
8. I just love pressing the spacebar.
9. the ceiling looks like a cassette tape.
10. Vierra CD!!

the breeze;
clouds in the sky.
toh Irene aku baru ketemu 40 gambar lagi tentang ehem ehem. gimana aq bisa "hack in" ke account friendsternya yang locked, tapi kalo udah ketemu, pasti buat gembira...(: ya kamu tahu siapa sih..(: rambut masa' kayak baru bangun pagi gitu! actually beneran sih...tapi buat lebih ___________. HAHA! sampai2 buat blogskin kayak di atas segala. (:

I manage to figure out half of the piano notes of Perih by Vierra! yay(: but it hurts. because the left hand part is fast!
Perih-Vierra
Dirimu
tak pernah menyadari
semua
yang telah kau miliki
kau buang aku, tinggalkan diriku
kau hancurkan aku seakan ku tak pernah ada

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih
walau perih

salahkah
aku terlalu cinta
berharap
semua kan kembali
kau buang aku,tinggalkan diriku
kau hancurkan aku
seakan ku tak pernah ada

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih
walau perih

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih

Aku kan bertahan
meski takkan mungkin
menerjang kisahnya
walau perih
walau perih
walau perih
walau perih

Saykoji-Online lyrics is funny(:
Saykoji-Online
Siang malam ku selalu menatap layar terpaku untuk online online
online online

Tidur telat bangun pagi pagi, nyalain komputer online lagi
bukan mau ngetik kerjaan
email tugas diserahkan
tapi malah buka facebook
padahal face masih ngantuk
beler kaya orang mabuk
pala naik turun ngangguk ngangguk
sambil ngedownload empitri
colok iPod USB kiri
ngecekin postingan forum
ape ade balesannye? Belum

biar belum sikat gigi belum mandi tapi kalo belum online paling anti
liat friendster, myspace, youtube, me and you, everybody you too

siang malam ku selalu menatap layar terpaku untuk online online
online online
jari dan keyboard beradu
pasang earphone denger lagu
aku online online
online online

Nah uda mandi siap berangkat
langsung cabut takut terlambat
tak lupa flashdisk gantung di leher
malah lupa sepatu jadi nyeker

flashdisk isinya bokep ato lagu
kalo ada kerjaan pun gue ragu
kalo emang berani coba pada ngaku
cek isi foldernya satu satu
Di kantor online pake proxy
walau diblok server bisa dilolosi
namanya udah ketagihan internet
produktifitaspun kepepet
Jam kerja malah chatting YM
ngobrol online sama ehehem
atasan lewat langsung klik data pura pura kerja didepan mata

Siang malam ku selalu menatap layar terpaku untuk online online
online online
Jari dan keyboard beradu
pasang earphone denger lagu aku online online
online online

Makan siang pun aku cari sinyal wi - fi
Mengapa ku kecanduan oh why why
kadang terasa bagai tak berdaya
ingin ku berubaah... Eh, ada email uda dulu ya


cek email spam semua
email benerannya cuma dua
yang satu email lama yang satu forwardan yang sama
Ngarep komentar buka friendser
loading gua tinggal beser
pas balik ngecek komputer kok lagi maintenance server
Yauda download lagu
bajakan gratis gak pake ragu
Saykoji satu album
setengah jam bisa rampung
Sore sore bosen hambar
ide nakal cari cari gambar
download video dengan sabar ketauan pacar digampar

siang malam ku selalu menatap layar terpaku untuk online online
online online
jari dan keyboard beradu
pasang earphone denger lagu
aku online online
online online

siang malam ku selalu menatap layar terpaku untuk online online
online online
jari dan keyboard beradu
pasang earphone denger lagu
aku online online
online online

yesterday I watched The Master Season 3 until 1 plus...or is it 12 plus? anyway, RIZUKI won! yay, omg she is damn awesome. and she is only 16 years old! see this video:

sometimes I mix up this blog and twitter. because sometimes my posts are about what I'm currently doing/feeling, and it's always short, but alot. like twitter;

I think MY FIRST LOVE is a nice name for Vierra's first album. because all the songs there talk about experiences while having, well your first love. like Perih, when you break up, Dengarkan Curhatku when you're together and want to express your feelings I THINK. nice(: okay so when I go to indonesia end of this year (hopefully) I'm going to buy that cd. if possible AATB albums also. they're quite cheap there you know, like 6 to 7 bucks. cheap right?

oh, in the...morning I tried messing up my hair to look like Kevin Aprilio's hair but ended up looking EXACTLY like Satrianda Vierra's hair. but when the hair was dry it became all frizzy again ):

in the afternoon I was SO bored, I listened to Online by Saykoji 5 TIMES.
then tried to figure out the piano part of the chorus of Dengarkan Curhatku since I've figured the beginning.

I need to prepare for ORAL O LEVELS. D: D: D: D: D:

and I need to sleep. but I want to do the Ratatouille..eh I mean the Independent Learning Day hmwk. my cousin just logged in to Messenger and his display pic is the mouse from Ratatouille.

I am
reading: the Independent Learning Day wksht qns.

doing: the Independent Learning Day wksht and typing this post.

listening: none NOW, but currently Online by Saykoji, Parasit by Gita Gutawa, Bersamamu by Vierra.

eating: nothing. last time I ate was dinner just now.

thinking: what's going to happen tmrw and who's going to be The Master Season 3. I want RIZUKI, she is fantastic. oh and also the Project Runway collections.

waiting: for me to finish this post and also for an explanation.

wishing: very ridiculous, but for Kevin Aprilio to come to Singapore. so that I can see him lah! and material stuff like the CDs I want that I said just now, and hopefully an iPhone.

feeling: tired.

tmrw Im going to ask Hana whether she wants the Gigi/Seventeen poster because if nobody wants then I'll just keep it until I go back to Indonesia and I can give to my cousin.

I'm irritated by my brother because he CANNOT understand decimals.

there goes my ankle that I just cracked. it's purposely one...don't worry. wait, no one in their right state of mind is going to care..so forget about it.

yawn...I really want to sleep. but must complete the hmwk first. and crack goes my ankle again.

why am I suddenly liking Status Palso by Vidi Alviado? it's addictive. but laughter is contagious. haha omg that reminds me of that song which made us laugh that time. haha(:

I told you, the little paragraphs are completely RANDOM. and thank you charlotte for helping me(:

ooh HEROINE's blogskins are nice...

this is ridiculous, I rather use Graphmatica to solve the qns on the I.L.D. hmwk, it's so much easier. which I am HAHA(: and I so love the new look of Backstreet Boys, more polished and nice(: especially Howie and AJ! never change your hairstyles, the both of you.

I tell you, almost the bands I support sure got SOME problem. Peterpan, Andika and Indra got "kicked out". Backstreet Boys, Kevin Richardson left the group. then Sheila On 7 got many changes I THINK. no, only Satria left. Vierra changed from 5 to 4, from Andante to Vierra. The Titans only got a teeny weeny problem which is that divorce lah. only AATB has a clean sheet as far as I know.

haha I shall pause here for the time being(:

______________

well at least I get 5 seconds for myself.

I'm really sorry. that hopes of making me NOT-emo, for the time being, it might be shattered for the time being, until I recover once more. I had hopes that everything might be right, after saturday or sunday, and monday...but I couldn't help it. why this sort of things happen. frequently.

I'm not going to ask for help this time because I've been too dependent on other people for help. I need to find a solution within me...before it gets too late.

today I just think-disaster. a big catastrophe. yes, I did enjoy the circle line trip with anita, and thank you for letting me try the game [I know it was a disaster haha (: ] then I thought I could sit down and do something at the computer. as usual I searched for more pics of KEVIN APRILIO which I got lots more (: but why why why.

maybe my foundations itself is rocky. I try but I always get some rebuttal. that's why I shut up mouth up at times because I can't help it. and in the end, I felt that was the right thing to do. as long as others are happy, I'm okay. if they're sad or smth...you know.

it's going to be hard for a while.

let bygones be bygones? fat chance. everything comes back and I blame myself again. I shall not do that horrible mistake again. maybe I go counseling again..who knows lah. I can't cope.

"you're a disappointment to me."
of course I am;

____________________

well now, once I heard that news, shattering glass became so much easier.