TOKIO HOTEL AND KERLI - STRANGE (Music from Alice In Wonderland soundtrack)

it's always so fun and happy-ful when I go back home with Priyanka and Anita. (: okay, so Anita had to go back because she had to complete Hindi homework. so Priyanka and I went back home via 8. then it was cramped, so we stood near the door, near this table thing where we could put some things on top (the one near the wheelchair place in the bus.) so then I was spazzing about SHINee, and then she wanted to learn more about the SHINee members. She was trying to distinguish the different members, haha (: so it will be like "this is..Taemin." "NO, ONEW!". and she guessed Taemin as the youngest! (: so then I popped out this question,
"who do you think is the most good-looking?"
"uh...hm.."
"I know. sure Jonghyun oppa, or Taemin oppa. (I point to their faces on the pic on this Indonesian mag) right?"
"uh...MINHO!"
right on that spot I just hi-fived her, while not-so-literally screaming "finally! justice in the world!"
"uh, I think he's 19 years old."
Hi-five again! she damn awesome. (:

I'm quite tired because of a long, uncomfortable day at school. but I'm watching dahSyat awards and so far, CONGRATULATIONS to VIERRA for winning Pendatang Baru dahSyat! ah yes, and Sabrina, still darn s-. (:

Gloria, gave me a SHINee ezlink card sticker (: THANKS GLORIA. awesome~
eh, Kevin Aprilio of Vierra just gave thanks for the award (because they just recently came!) he's as ykw as ever. <3

I feel; okay, so so, 50-50, whatever. very destructive, really pumped up. ironic huh.

DONGSAENG I WANT TO COMPLAIN.
cause DAMN I feel effin pissed off with person. aargh, unnie does NOT want to become angry like just now ): LOVE, UNNIE! (:

MY TAEMIN I WANT TO SAY GOOD LUCK.
for Bio test, which might be over, or on tmrw, or next week, aiyah OK yes yes, good luck! LOVE, MINHO~ (:

YING CHAO I WANT TO SAY THANKS.
for whatever you have done, for me, like helping me out through tight situations and doing really crazy stuff! THANK YOU! LOVE, CW'S LOVER. (:

MY OTHER FRIENDS, I WANT TO SAY HELLO.
have a good day. LOVE, AZRITANIA. (:

I didn't get this, hype, bug, bite, virus, poison, whatever other definition, from any people. (cause honestly speaking I don't want to be a stupid old goat or kambing following anyone from the day they were born to their deaths.) I got it, by listening, slowly liking, then listen somemore, and felt that it was my taste.
I feel really pissed off, like as though I'm going to rip my hair off and extract my brain out.

can I scream? I'm like enemies with happiness. bad in the good.

really, is surface life better than the underground life? I don't see a f-ing difference between the two. put a CD on the table and under the table is like putting oxygen molecules on the table itself and under the table, nowadays. we're so caught up in our own, whirling, twisting problems, blinded by reality, by responsibilities, shrouded by blessing, praises, divulged in second lives, happiness and companion, I think we fail to notice if there was any change around the surroundings. simply said, we are so often in lalaland, we forget what's on Earth and as a result we don't f-ing care. so important people die also don't care. I'm not implying anything, just something that popped into my head. I never used the f word unless it's absolutely necessary, and this is one of the times.

miss photogenic NOT. :/

I feel very stupid. one thing is because I make a mountain out of a molehill, and a very bloody damn molehill at that one too. and I put others to torture while I carry my destructive path, not knowing others' perspectives. another thing is because sorry, but big shot doesn't work. small would rather do. one more thing is that I might as well have Cinderella-like gowns, film-like student clothing, circular-. blurry eyes? maybe. become like Ephialtes of Trachis in the movie 300? not much of a matter huh. all those thousand monsters that seemingly become imagination are actually true, we just have to get the right pair of eyes.

I don't know what the heck I should say.

on a side note;

haha lol yes the Yoogeun photo where he was smiling was really cute (:
Syafura passed me a note saying that she love Key and Yoogeun. then I wrote, big big,
"MINHO and YOOGEUN." on another piece of paper.
and yes Natalie, I do think that Tokio Hotel is better.
Kashmira asked if I stood on a dustbin for the airport meetup that time when SHINee came. I went "huh, how you know?" and she said someone told her. hm. something to ponder? but because of that the people behind me thought I was 180m plus.
I have NO TIME to watch one full Hello Baby episode ): but I watch snippets.
I think Iljimae's mask is cool. can only see his eyes. (:
and G-Dragon's eyes are cool too. (:

oh damn something just made me more depressed.

thanks.

firstly, before I divulge into anything, further,
I WANT THE SHINEE MEXICANA DIARY.

my new hp wallpaper is of Minho kissing Yoogeun! so now at home I have to turn the phone upside down if not I'll most probably get roasted, skinned alive or blasted upside down, or get killed. but they're really adorable. and Jeya made a comment that was really, unbelievable but actually quite so true (;

okay. friday saturday sunday. hm, Mazeltov by ZE:A is quite nice (: I love the music video also, although a bit the bland to me. but the rhythm, melody, especially the parts where there were no vocals, awesome. and the friday saturday sunday thing is quite addictive and it's now stuck in my head.

speaking of friday saturday sunday, friday was the start of THE BANGING FEST! yes, it's a newly created festival specially to dedicate to milly, who is presumed dead. and it lasts for so I go banging my head onto things around me. on Day 1, I did 6 pillars, 2 railings, 1 door, 2times10 calculators, 1times3 tables and my handphone.
DAY2! a Dangerous Book for Boys book, a basin, a computer speaker, 1 more door and an Asterix and Obelix book. well, my aim is to just, remember milly because she's missing, gone, somewhere.

friday was horrible. although I got cheered up by the wallie, but I still felt down in the dumps. I still felt in the blue; I'm spiralling down the route of EMO again. I don't know what to know, cause I just feel like giving up. don't really see the justice in everyday events around me; why does it have to happen? I'm fighting a battle, emotionally. it's like a battlefield, and every now and then a cannon would blast off and my head would hurt. side note: my head did go swollen after the 1st day of the festivities, and I had a headache. and today it was bigger.

urgh, I'm just going to fall down and not come up. maybe tomorrow during the EXPO trip I'll cheer up slightly. can see all my wonderful madrasah friends and send stuff from phone to phone.

oh I don't know. it's either fight, or flight. show, or not show. reveal, or keep quiet. unleash, or chained. trap, or be trapped, vanish, or stand out.

wished it could be a dream. but OUCH, I pinch, and everything's the same.

btw, Baby Yoogeun is SOO ADORABLE! <3 he's darn cute. he's PRINCE YOOGEUN. I love in APPAAAAAAAA~ call on Episode 4 of Hello Baby! and that's my alarm clock ringtone (: it's like Sarah Tan loving that young Japanese prince that she posted a pic of but I can't remember.

OH HAHA THIS FUNNY THING HAPPENED during training.

so I was in the room, with Sanjana, Rugaiyah, Teh Lian, Wan Ping and Jes. then we were talking about the Doushite video by DBSK which Mrs Lim showed us during SS. then, I said "Micky so, aiyoh..):"
then Jes asked "who is Micky?"

then I said "oh you know in the video, there was the first guy-"
"OMG, he's damn hot!"
"huh, you serious?"
then almost everyone started giving opinions about how, ehem, hot Hero was in the video.
"ah, then you know the second guy, the long black hair-"
"EE! He damn ugly!"
"I agree!"
AND THEN everyone started babbling about how ugly he was.

so then I had an idea, and took out the Kpop magazine that had Rain on the cover. then I flip flip flip until I found the article about DBSK. then I show to Jes, and pointed to Hero's pic "this the guy right?" then she said "omg, he looks like a ghost! he got pale skin! I tell you, look like ghosts one!"

then I told Teh Lian, "the reason I bought the magazine cause got pic of SHINee at the back (: " then Jes flip to the back. and IMMEDIATELY she pointed to Taemin's pic and commented "He looks like a girl! so pretty! his hair long somemore!" and she went on about how Taemin oppa looked like a girl. oh yeah, she did comment about Minho oppa's eyes.

then I remembered this incident that I saw @SFI. I told Wan Ping "oh there this guy in Super Junior, and he entered a room and there was that girl, I MEAN THAT GUY-" while pointing to Taemin! OH MY GOODNESS la.

thanks ah Jes, you comment comment about how pretty Taemin was, ended up calling him a girl!

okay yeah, not funny. but it makes me appreciate the people around me. and it makes me appreciate my awesome lovely SQUADMATES <3

oh right, btw, Key tries to say as many fruits in English as possible before the balloon in his shirt. I love his accent!



and Li Na fell in love with Key's hair. I NEARLY DIED WHEN YOU SAID THAT. (: what, and nobody told you it was Key?

Is it that you are working - or even playing - too hard? Because it would seem that you are experiencing a great deal of pent-up emotion at this time which could possibly take effect and lead to irrational behaviour.

You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.

Although you are, deep down, a very caring person, you are very particular in the choice of friends and indeed very demanding at times. You can be most quarrelsome and controversial and it is because of this argumentative trait you can at times explode into open conflict - conflict with even those you may care for and love. It is because of this inherent argumentative streak in you that may have resulted in broken hopes and dreams.

You are experiencing considerable stress which is essentially the result of on going rejection and hostility. You are in the unpleasant position where offers of trust, affection and understanding are being withheld and you are being treaded with a degrading lack of consideration. You feel that you are being denied the appreciation that you deserve, which is essential to your well-being and self-esteem, but you have to face up to the situation because as matters stand at this time there is little that you can do about it - you feel that you are getting nowhere and the continuous struggle is a lonely one: all difficulties and no encouragement. Whatever you try to say or do is met with continuous hostility and no matter how much you protest you are consistently misunderstood. You need to escape from the situation but you are so perplexed that you cannot find the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

Perhaps in the distant past your trust and belief in your fellow man was misplaced and you can now no longer accept anything as it appears to be. You are untrusting and you insist that before you commit yourself to anything, you examine the pro's and con's with critical discrimination. The situation has now progressed to one where you are apt to disagree yet not make any form of constructive criticism to every suggestion that may be put to you. As a result you are in limbo. There is a saying that goes 'The past does not equal tomorrow'. Think about it - and let go.

I took this quiz from what, colorgenics.com if I'm not wrong.

I sent chocolates and a message to CW oppa.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY oppa! I LOVE YOU;
I hope the message is correct,because I read from some website that if you write it wrongly then the message might change! ): anyways, yes, I got you chocolates. like 2 years ago (: so you might be busy with your studies and exams all, but I miss you, okay. (: I've been reading the emails and convos we had. yesterday my friend was asking about you too!

damn I just can't believe what I just heard.

OH MY GOODNESS.
I just watched part 3 of 6, of episode 3 of Hello Baby feat SHINee! and SUPER CUTE ANGELIC BABY YOOGEUN. they were supposed to prepare dinner for Yoogeun lah. I LAUGHED LIKE CRAZY cause Onew oppa put the entire egg in the pan without breaking it in half and pouring the contents out first! and Minho oppa tried so hard to tell Yoogeun that he is going to make sandwiches, but Yoogeun never reply. lol (: and Jonghyun actually bought the soondae gook! Taemin mutilated the apple, and Onew can COOK, honestly speaking. okay yes enough of crapping for Hello Baby. (and to think it's only episode 3. imagine all the other episodes!;)

I gave Hui Sian, the one and only 2009 Year Of Us album!!! I told her to open it as soon as she received it. then when she saw she looked like she wanted to cry, honestly speaking. (: okay, I'm done with that! I still have to pay for stuff though. other stuff, I mean (:

badabadabam. CHEMISTRY SPA. then SS TEST. then TUITION HOMEWORK. then A MATHS TEST. then VALENTINE'S DAY GIFTS. then CW OPPA'S BIRTHDAY. then MUG FOR PRELIMS. then PRELIMS 2. then O LEVELS.

(on board the bus)
"I need to do something important."
"what, finish the SHINee drawing?"
"no, write something in Hangul!" (but I failed, cause cannot find this and that and very very mafan and leceh.
"you finish already?"
"yeap (:"
"let me see. (:"
~shows the SHINee drawing that I made~
"are you going to colour it?
"well yeah, but needs alot of shades of brown and my colour scheme is only suited for black haired types."

oh, SHINee is in Berita Harian. awesomee~

today I was in my own secluded world. there were sunflowers and fields and cakes and white and blue sky and clouds and a nice sun and got wind breeze and people that I love. wasn't really thinking of oppa, although well...(:

so yup; quit daydreaming. I have eyebags and dark circles, and I need more sleep. the good thing is that I have a long weekend, so I have to prepare valentine's day gifts to a hundred people and also to CW. btw I watched VALENTINE'S DAY with lemon pudding, riffana and xin yi. it was really good, the plot quite interesting too! I also got some ideas for valentine's day gift to CW. teeth and gums hurt because of the popcorn. ):

shoot shoot shoot. I've forgotten something.
okay;

so the Mediafire file, folder hasn't loaded. okay, I shall update since it STILL hasn't loaded. (:

reflection of this week? hm. I could say that I was a little happier, because something just happen to dawn on me and I got a revelation of events that, I don't really think it was purely coincidental - there must be some meaning behind each action. I'm not saying that I don't believe in coincidence, but the type and timing of events show me they're not.

~okay I sneezed. sniff.

Hui Sian's birthday present has arrived! I just need to collect it. (: and I would love to see her reaction (: I've already confirmed that it's something that she DEFINITELY likes.

I have to revise through Chem SPA stuff in my bag and also study for SS. I know lab partner will most prob share the whole bench during SPA, but still. I don't want to fall sick. and speaking of which, I haven't really been talking to Sab for a while. maybe I should, to catch up on things?

yesterday it's what I call, wear-your-own-clothes day. so I wore my I Love SHINee t-shirt, due to popular demand. lol (: and there was this group of girls who were on the mrt and they saw the t shirt, they went "oh my goodness SHINee!" and said "I like this member" "no, he's better" "I think he is cuter lah" "no he's my favourite"...the sort of topics you can extract while spazzing. (:

did I tell that I named my staplers Romeo and Juliette? because Juliette is one of my favourite SHINee songs and Romeo+Juliette is another song. plus, isn't Romeo and Juliet one of the greatest love stories of all? not the super cheesy ones? but then I'd feel like a babysitter, cause I keep saying "oh, I left Romeo and Juliette in class because they want to spend quality time together." Ying Chao...Ying Chao, oh yeah she knows. she thinks I'm crazy and narcissistic. but, we're still awesome good friends (:

I watched Cerberus yesterday and it's a little scary :/ oh, and speaking of that, yesterday during assembly there was a Chinese opera performance. so I sat beside awesome lab partner and we were doing funny stuff. like wind speed, dusting, dirt accumulated on air molecules, and a nasty move.

I'm not giving up, because it's part of my strength. so long as I see; I feel. I'm going to use every ounce of my strength to find; what I've wanted to find. for now, I'll use an important item in my life, so that I breathe and feel, and think.

all the Indonesian sinetrons always have "gue sayang sama kamu." or "gue sayang sama loe" or "aku sayang sama kamu.". so I shall scream this out, so that the person will hear me. cause I LOVE YOU. and by the way, almost EVERYONE has an imaginary boyfriend! wth~. (:

Ozy IC3 is performing Doy by Kangen Band. I like his rendition (:

I saw this photo that made me LAUGH like someone that's crazy. then I thought, eh, is it photoshopped? then I thought, maybe, maybe not. oh I don't know, I'm still laughing like CRAZY. (:

oh yeah yeah, a number of people have been asking me about SHINee's domino effect because I wrote that on my homework file [the one people said I vandalized, (: ], so I put a pic that I found @ copycatmemory.blogspot.com . I repeat, CREDITS TO copycatmemory.blogspot.com :


and this is Minho dancing @Hello Baby!


forgot, Onew dancing @Hello Baby (:


as I said, it's just rantings, so each paragraph is a different thing. take for example, how on earth are staplers related to Greek mythology?
okay, I have to do something important. 4 kali lipat (: